For many years now, I’ve kept some form of an online blog as a place to let my journals overflow into the hands of my friends and family (and the occasional stranger). It’s been a strange experience to see the places those once-private thoughts have landed, but I believe that the Lord gives each of us stories of grace, redemption, hope, and imperfection that are longing to be told to display His glory. Since being back in Thailand over the past few months, I’ve found that my blog has stayed silent while I’ve hashed out my thoughts through my social media accounts. Despite many of my posts turning into mini-blogs, I’ve felt the stories crying out to be told fully, and so this week I’d like to invite you into the uncut versions of my social media feed, in hopes that the words of the Lord find you and lift up your weary or discouraged hearts.
Do I Know Jesus More?
Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart.
Psalm 119:2 (ESV)
The church I’ve been attending since being back in Thailand is a beautiful mix of nationalities, races, languages, and cultures, all thrown together in a movie theater. It has been a blessing to have such a glimpse into what the kingdom of God truly looks like every Sunday morning as I gaze around the room and see people who are from every part of the globe gathered in the name of Jesus. I’m still learning names and stories of missionaries and refugees alike, but no matter the reason we find ourselves in Bangkok, Jesus remains our most common thread. Our spirits recognize one another instantly as family.
One Sunday, the pastor reflected on a simple question: Do I know Jesus more today than I did yesterday? It hit me as something so profound, to realize that every night I should go to bed knowing Jesus more than I did the night before. I am in constant communion with him, or at least, I have the access and opportunity to be, which should lead to me knowing Him deeper and deeper. I should constantly be learning more about Him and His love, grace, and justice. Every day I should know more of His heart and see more clearly with His eyes. I should walk deeper and stronger and more confidently in His paths, because when you are with someone constantly, you should be seriously getting to know them, right?
So the question sits with me every night. I lay in my bed and hope it never leaves me. Do I know Jesus more today than I did yesterday? Do I know His love deeper? Do I know His heart more intimately? Is His voice more familiar and His presence nearer? Do I recognize Him more easily, and do I speak to Him more freely?